The Lindsay Brown Show
The Lindsay Brown Show is where real talk meets real growth. Dive into bold, sassy, and faith-centered conversations on relationships, communication, and embracing your feminine essence. Whether you’re leveling up in love or life, this podcast gives you the wisdom, tools, and the no-nonsense advice you need to thrive.
The Lindsay Brown Show
You Can't Be the Prize and the Punishment
Episode 29: You Can't Be the Prize and the Punishment
Why This Episode Matters
This quick, power-packed episode is your reminder that peace isn’t power when you’re using it to punish. If you’ve ever pulled away to protect your heart or found yourself giving mixed signals in love, Lindsay helps you trade inconsistency for clarity — the Sunshine Way.
You can’t be the prize and the punishment, Sunshine.
In this episode, Lindsay Brown exposes the emotional hot-and-cold behavior that ruins connection and replaces peace with confusion. Using Proverbs 31:11–12 as her anchor, Lindsay helps you stop performing for love and start showing up with emotional steadiness, faith, and grace.
💬 “Peace attracts peace. Confusion attracts chaos. Choose your side.”
This 11-minute coaching episode is short, sharp, and spirit-led — a reminder that grace doesn’t play games.
📖 Faith Focus
“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” — Proverbs 31:11–12 (NIV)
Faith-based femininity is about dependability, grace, and bringing good — not confusion — into every relationship.
🎙️Resources Mentioned:
💜 Relationship Red Flag Journal (RRFJ) by Lindsay Brown: your clarity companion for noticing patterns, setting boundaries, and choosing peace over confusion. Available now ➡️ Get Your Copy on Amazon
🎧 Listen to related episodes:
- Episode 26 — Standing in the Gap for Your Man: How to Support Your Husband Through Spiritual Battles
- Episode 28 — Weaponizing Tears and Silence
💜Host Credit
Hosted and developed by Lindsay Brown for the Sunshine Why™ Program.
Written and produced by Lindsay Brown.
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📲 Follow & Connect:
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Keep your light on and your standards high. Thank you for listening. Enjoy today!
You're listening to the Lindsay Brown Show. Real Talk. Really Growth, Real You.
Lindsay Brown:Hey Sunshine. Welcome back to "The Lindsay Brown Show," the official podcast of the Sunshine Why Movement. I'm your host, Lindsay Brown. Let me ask you something. Have you ever met someone who swears they want consistency but live in contradiction? One day they're all in—calls, texts, attention. The next? Crickets. Cold silence. Confusing energy. Whew, let's talk about that... Because today, we're calling out one kind of chaos, the hot and cold dance that leaves you questioning your worth and calling it "connection." You can't be the prize and the punishment, Sunshine. And if that line already stung a little? Good. That means it's about to free you. Now, before we dive in, let me say this: If you've ever second-guessed yourself in a relationship or felt dizzy trying to decode mixed signals, I've created something just for you. The Relationship Red Flag Journal. It’s not just paper and prompts—it’s clarity on pages. It helps you notice patterns, check your peace, and stop mistaking confusion for chemistry. You can grab your copy at amazon or just click the link in the show notes. Alright, deep breath. Grab that journal, maybe even your Red Flag Journal if you’ve got it handy, and let’s unpack why emotional games aren’t power—they’re pain dressed up pretty.
Lindsay Brown:Last week we talked about a tricky topic, weaponizing emotions. When tears and silence become tools of control instead of connection, that's not softness, it's manipulation. We unpacked how true feminine power is rooted in emotional honesty and grace, not guilt trips. If you missed it, definitely go back. That episode sets the stage for today because emotional games, no matter how subtle, keep love out and confusion in.
Lindsay Brown:Let's discuss the truth about hot and cold behavior. You can't be the prize and the punishment, Sunshine. You can't ask to be treated like a queen when you're building your castle on mixed signals. Hot one day, cold the next. Sweet when it suits you, distant when it doesn't. That emotional back and forth might feel like self-protection, but it's really emotional sabotage. Because when you make people chase affection that shifts with your mood, you're not creating desire, you're creating instability. You're training people to fear your silence instead of trust your heart. Now Proverbs 31: 11- 12 says, "Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life." That's not about being perfect. It's about being consistent. Real prizes aren't unpredictable. They're peaceful, dependable, and safe to love. It's Sunshine story time. Let me tell you about Sunshine. This Sunshine? She met a man who adored her. He planned dates, checked in, asked thoughtful questions. But Sunshine, she wasn't sure she was ready to trust it. So, she played it cool, didn't text back for hours, kept him guessing about where they stood. Sometimes she'd be warm and sweet, other times she'd go cold and unavailable. She told herself, "I'm just protecting my peace." But in reality, she was testing his patience. One night, he said something that shook her a little. “Sunshine, you act like affection is a reward I have to earn for just breathing right.”
Lindsay Brown:And she realized... she had turned love into a performance. Her inconsistency wasn't confidence, it was fear. Fear of needing someone, fear of being too much, and fear of being seen. Coaching check-in time, remember, you can't change what you won't confront. Let's coach through the psychology of hot and cold behavior. Hot and cold behavior often comes from attachment wounds, the kind that whisper, don't get too close. Don't let them see the real you. When you've been disappointed before, inconsistency feels like control. But really, it's a way of saying, I want love, but I don't trust it. And here's the truth, Sunshine. You can't build intimacy through unpredictability. You can't expect stability while sowing confusion. And you can't claim to be the prize while acting like the punishment. Healing starts with self-awareness. Ask yourself, what am I afraid will happen if I just stay consistent? Because often we fear being seen more than being hurt. When you learn to sit in the discomfort of honesty, when you can say, "This is how I feel, and this is what I need"— you step into emotional maturity. Sunshine PSA: powerful, sassy, advice incoming. Emotional games don't make you powerful, they make you unpredictable. Stop confusing inconsistency with self-respect. You're not hard to love; you're just hard to trust when your energy keeps changing. Grace doesn't play games— it plays fair. Sis, let’s redefine this word—prize. Being the prize doesn't mean making someone prove they deserve your attention by surviving your emotional tests. It means knowing your worth so deeply that you bring peace, not pressure, into every space you enter. The real prize is a woman who knows her value without weaponizing it. Communicates even when it's uncomfortable. Keeps her tone calm, her words kind, and her actions aligned. She doesn't withdraw to feel powerful. Because when you're rooted in God, you don't need to perform for love. You become love— steady, graceful, trustworthy. Sunshine PSA: powerful, sassy advice incoming. You can't pray for a trustworthy man while practicing emotional instability. If you want a steady partner, be a steady woman. Peace attracts peace. Confusion attracts chaos. Choose your side. Sunshine. It's time to check your energy. Ask yourself, when do I tend to go cold in relationships? And what am I really protecting? Do my moods make people guess how I feel instead of know where they stand? What would emotional consistency look like for me this week? And here's your action plan: Respond. Don't react. Keep your promises. Even the small ones. If something bothers you, say it— don't ghost it. And remember peace is powerful, not passive. Again, you can't be the prize and the punishment, Sunshine. You can't say you want love while keeping people on emotional probation. The woman who walks in grace doesn't play games. She sets the standard. Real power isn't in making someone guess where they stand. It's in making them feel safe in your presence. That's the Sunshine Way. Coming next on The Lindsay Brown Show. Next week on The Lindsay Brown Show, we're diving into “It’s Not Loyalty If You’re Just Scared to Be Alone.” We’ll talk about how fear masquerades as faithfulness—and why staying out of loneliness isn’t the same as staying out of love. It’s going to be real, it’s going to be raw, and it’s going to set some hearts free.
Lindsay Brown:Until next time, Sunshine, keep your light on and your standards high.